How to Attract a New Sweetie

Diamond Warrior by Michael Parkes

Recently I listened to a talk by relationship coach Lisa Hayes. It was part of her series on Dating in the Vortex and focused on Lisa’s “two list” approach to attracting new or improved love. Since this is the topic of interest to all of us Sup readers and authors, I thought to explore some of these ideas here.

On the call, Lisa read us a client’s LONG list of her ideal date. It was as detailed as a Briggs-Myers personality test, only more personal and included a CV, physical traits, emotional responses to a wide range of situations, minimum bank balance etc. etc. There really wasn't much missing, down to the most personal, um, details.

Lisa's point – specifics might actually be limiting if we aren't listing how we want to feel. (who cares what their annual income is, or make, model and car registration # or even favorite food, if we aren't feeling the love?) This example got me thinking about list making altogether, especially when it involves another person. Isn't that conditional love? The thought of someone ticking off my appearances, traits, IQ and emotional responses feels . . . odd.

Actually, it's kinda creepy. I wonder how our heroines might feel if their love interest was concerned with 'specs'. It would get my leading ladies' hackles up, for sure. The question is, are we missing the point of relationship when we preordain what the ‘other’ must be like? Maybe, but don’t get me wrong. Lists are valuable. They tell us things about ourselves.

For example, if I make a my new sweetie (MNS) list and it goes like this: MNS is rich, smart, funny, gorgeous, adventurous, independent, fit, must love cats . . . what does this say about me? It says, I want to be rich, smart, funny, gorgeous, adventurous, independent, fit and surrounded by cats. The list is never about ‘them’. It’s about us, and when we get that, we can stop ‘needing’ others to be x,y or z, and be that ourselves. Then, we enjoy the new sweetie for who they are. Period.

Besides showing us what we want to become, the MNS list can point out why we want what it is we want. Armed with that knowledge we can get to the feeling place now, before MNS shows up. Does everyone know the “why do I want that” exercise? It's so insightful.

1) Start with a current desire. It might be I want to date a man with $$$. Underneath that statement ask, why do I want that? It might go like this:

I want to date a man with $$$

Why do I want that?

So I don’t have to pay for everything myself

Why do I want that?

So someone besides me steps up for a change

Why do I want that?

So I feel special

And there it is. In this case, I don’t give a hoot about their bank account. What I really want is to feel special.  

And this is an inside job. As Ean Begg says, When we stop expecting other people to fulfill us, we can begin to fulfill ourselves. Does that leave the door open for true relationship, or what? The other great thing about the MNS list is, it tunes our radar for new possibilities. 

If I say my sweetie is generous, kind, hot, funny, smart, sporty etc I'm cuing my unconscious that these things do exist! Like they say, I’ll see it when I believe it, and the list helps me believe. For those who think relationships suck, or that men/women are untrustworthy, lists can help shift the vibe to a better feeling place.

How about you? Do you make lists for dates, partners, perfect clients, agents, others? Or do you connect with people from scratch, where who they are and what they look like and how they think is of no concern because you know, if they are in your space, they are a vibrational match? 

Combination of the two? I’d love to hear your thoughts (and lists)!

Kim Falconer is a Supernatural Underground author writing paranormal romance, urban fantasy, YA and epic science fantasy novels. She also co-directs Good Vibe Astrology, an astrology and law of attraction school.

You can find out more about Kim at kimfalconer.com or on the 11th House Blog. She posts here at the Supernatural Underground on the 16th of every month. Her latest release is Supernatural Underground: Vampires Gone Wild.

Dead Man's Deal Is Out!

****CONTEST WINNER: Heidi Reinhardt is the winner of the signed copies of Angel's Ink and Dead Man's Deal.  Please email me your address at Jocelynn DOT drake AT gmail DOT com so I can drop the books in the mail for you.  Congratulations****


Is there anything better in this world than new book Tuesday?  Sometimes I think it's the only thing that makes the week tolerable.  In an effort to help make the week pass enjoyably, I am making my own donation to the bookshelves of the world.  Yes, the second book in the Asylum Tales series, Dead Man's Deal, is now out!

Do you like magic?
Do you like tattoos?
Do you like elves, vampires, werewolves, trolls, incubi, hobgoblins, warlocks, and talking cats?
Do you like weird and crazy stuff happening at every turn?

The Asylum Tales series could be for you.

With the second book hitting shelves today, it's a good time to start reading about Gage and his friends at Asylum Tattoo Parlor.

Here is a brief description of Dead Man's Deal:

In a gritty urban fantasy world where elves, faeries, trolls, werewolves, and vampires swim free in a sea of humanity, sometimes you need an edge. 

Looking for a little love? 
Need some luck? 
Desperate for revenge? 

Gage can give you what you need. The most talented tattoo artist in town, he knows the right symbol and the right mix of ingredients and ink to achieve your heart's desire. One tattoo is all it takes. But remember, everything has its price. 

The wizards know Gage is using forbidden magic, and they intend to punish him for his  transgressions. Too bad if innocent humans and monsters—entire cities—get in the way. They will quell a nascent magical uprising and Gage will be the sacrifice they need. First, though, they have to find him.

Here is the reading order for the Asylum Tales:

The Asylum Interviews: Bronx (prequel novella)
The Asylum Interviews: Trixie (prequel novella)
Angel's Ink
Dead Man's Deal
"Of Monsters and Men" (short story in Blood by Moonlight anthology)

Contest

To celebrate the release of Dead Man's Deal, let's have a contest.  In the comments below, tell me your favorite supernatural creature (vampire, werewolf, elf, etc...).  I will give away a signed copy of Angel's Ink and Dead Man's Deal.  If I get over 100 entries to the contest, I will give away 2 sets of books.  The contest ends on Friday, May 10 at midnight Eastern time.  The winner will be announced on Saturday, May 11.

Why being a ninja is great!

So I'm reporting live to you from RT Booklovers Convention 2013 in Kansas City. It is a weekend of fun parties, reader interaction, and author meet-ups. Because this is the 30th anniversary, they have really  pulled out all the stops.

Because I am between series right now (see last month's post on plotting plotting plotting), I find myself in a little bit of a limbo. I get to plan my own schedule. See the panels I want to see (totally hunted down Jude Devereaux), and relax. A new concept for me in general, let alone at a conference.

So I find myself mostly sitting and watching and listening. The conversations here are awesome because everyone is as exciting about books as I am. And boy, are the topics varied. The two women across from my right now are talking about the upswing in New Adult. Two women in the elevator this morning were still talking about the Fated to be Mated panel that our very own Jeaniene Frost and Kerrelyn Sparks gave yesterday afternoon.

And no one is even noticing me. I feel very ninja. Listening to everyone, watching them stroll by in their Regency dresses or their Steampunk corsets (how Karina Cooper does it, I have no idea). And the SHOES. There are some fabulous shoes here.

Oh, right now, someone just asked me for a chair and I think she's doing the same thing that I am, capturing the energy and love of good stories and, lets be honest, some cute cover models.

LOOK, THERE'S JULIE GARWOOD. Have to go stalk someone!

This is Amanda Arista signing off from behind a ficus!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Amanda Arista, Diaries of an Urban Panther
www.amandaarista.com

Celebrating May Day – & Summer’s Eve In “The Gathering Of The Lost”

Happy May Day, dear Supernatural Undergrounders – and happy first of summer to everyone in the Northern Hemisphere. I hope some of you will be bringing in the may. :)

US cover

In The Gathering Of The Lost, the second novel in my The Wall of Night series, the equivalent festival is called "Summer’s Eve” and is “always held on the first new moon of summer.”

Reflecting on May Day today got me thinking about influences on our writing, especially where the author is trying to create a world that feels “real” and resonates with the reader (yes, even when writing “Fantasy”). May Day, with its traditions of mumming (acting out folk stories), crowning the May Queen and (in England, anyway) dancing around a Maypole is an easy celebration to draw on.

But when I lived in Sweden, the festival of Valborgsmassafton, (also celebrated in Germany as Walpurgis Night), seemed almost as important as the May Day that followed. The nights are definitely shortening by 30 April, and Valborgsmassafton is celebrated by lighting bonfires in the long clear evenings, then dancing and partying through the night and into May Day itself. The overlaps to the Celtic festival of Beltane also seem clear.

Arguably, bonfires are a traditional celebration in many circumstances, but I am sure it is not accident that one way in which “Summer’s Eve” is celebrated in my story is by lighting “fires for Imuln”:

UK/AU/NZ cover

‘ “What exactly is the festival about?” he asked Malisande one fine evening when she was down at the inn again, helping Manan sort and bag herbs. The girl looked up in surprise.

“Don't you celebrate Summer's Eve on the River? The festival honors Imuln in her aspect of Maiden and is always held on the first new moon of summer. Those coming of age keep their sacred vigils and lovers make binding vows to each other.” She smiled. “That is the serious side, at any rate. But we also celebrate the beginning of the really fine weather by lighting bonfires, and use up the last of winter's stores baking special cakes and breads. The fires are lit on the actual Eve, but the next day there is dancing and feasting through into the night.” ’

~ from "The Gathering Of The Lost"

 

 So whether bringing in the may, dancing, feasting, lighting a bonfire, or keeping a "vigil" of your own, I hope you are enjoying some sort of 1st of May festivity. 

And if you have your own special celebration of the first of summer with family or friends, please feel welcome to share it here. :)

Up Close and Personal

$50 Amazon Gift Card Giveaway

Getting to know the author behind the book has always helped me appreciate the book more as a reader. That's one of the things we do on Supernatural Underground - invite you to get up close and personal with us. We'll let you in on how we feel about our characters and our stories, and why we love the genres we write in: urban fantasy, paranormal romance, fantasy, and sci-fi for adults and teens. I really feel strongly about this because that writer-reader bond is what keeps me going. When Deliverance won an award, I could hardly wait until my posting date, the 28th of the month, came around so I could share it with you.

When my cat Snickers photobombed a promo shoot, it was a fun example of what we do besides tuck our noses into the computer and write. I had a series of backlist books written as Shirley Kennett that were made available as audio and ebooks, and let all of you know how happy I was to see these books get a new life.

When my character Maliha sent me a signed postcard, I thought it would be perfect for SU, and here it is.

It's good to know my character "has my back!" If nothing else, I can count on her. :-)

I've come across an author writing a YA sci-fi trilogy who is taking this concept of creating bonds with readers a step further by starting way before the book hits the shelves. DB Ayers is currently polishing her book proposal, after which her agent will submit it to NY publishers. Her blog will be like a diary of birthing the books, including information about the characters and the stories as they're being written. Look for excerpts, the ups and downs of the process, and prizes! OMG, prizes! At every milestone or just for no reason at all, she'll be giving away the goodies. Launching the blog is a milestone; a $50 Amazon Gift Certificate is up for grabs. Click on the graphic to the right and then on the PRIZES tab to enter.

You may wonder why DB Ayers is getting a mention here, other than the fact that I like to promote other authors. I'll leave that to your imagination. *wink, wink* But if you figure it out, it's our little secret, okay? Hop over and help this "new" author get her social media engines revved and maybe win some $$.

So, are you a fan of YA sci-fi? What are you reading now, or what's you're favorite book?

Until next time,
Dakota Banks

Kansas City, here I come!

The winner was selected at random-- Alice Lewis! I have tried contacting Alice with the email listed under her blogging profile, but it doesn't work. Please contact me, Alice, at sparkskerrelyn@yahoo.com!

If you're in the Kansas City area, I hope to see you next week!  The Romantic Times convention will be held Wednesday through Sunday, May 1-5 at the Sheraton at Crown Center. I'll be participating in panels and workshops on Wednesday and Thursday, attending a Vampire Social Friday afternoon, and that night, at the Avon Red Slipper Lounge, my publisher will be giving away hundreds of books, and I'll be signing them as fast as I can! If you're unable to attend the convention, have no fear! The giant booksigning on Saturday, May 4, is open to the public!  (There's a $5 fee for entering).  We're talking over 400 authors in one ballroom! The bookfair goes from 11 a.m. till 2 p.m.  For more information regarding the RT convention, please go to http://www.rtconvention.com/ and for more info on the bookfair, go to http://www.rtconvention.com/2013-giant-book-fair.

Have you read my latest paranormal?  It's 'V is for VampWoman,' a novella in the anthology Vampires Gone Wild.  For ordering information, please visit my website at http://www.kerrelynsparks.com/books_current.html. And did you know my next release is a historical romance? It's the sequel to The Forbidden Lady, and features the younger sister, Caroline Munro, as the heroine. The title is Less than a Gentleman, and the e-book goes on sale July 2!  (The print version goes on sale about a month later). You can find out more at http://www.kerrelynsparks.com/books_historical_coming.html. The next Love at Stake book is The Vampire with the Dragon Tattoo, starring Dougal!  Both the e-book and print book will release on August 27th!

Now for today's contest!  I'm giving away a signed copy of The Vampire and the Virgin, starring another one of those hunky Scottish vampires, Robby MacKay!  And there's a matching poster! You can see them both in the photo. That poster makes the book look small! To enter, just leave a comment. One lucky winner will be chosen at random. International entries are welcome. Good luck!

Venus in Taurus Guide to Abundance

La Naissance de Venus by Eugene Duval

Venus glides into Taurus, one of the two signs she rules, and all is right in the world . . . as long as we honor this transit. That means, show some reverence. Respect. When we do, our hearts light up and relationships go smoother, finances become more abundant and creativity pours forth in passionate waves of originality.

All we need do is place a bouquet of appreciation on her alter, metaphorically, or literally. Tangible displays count double. We want to make this real!

Taurus is an earthy, fixed and sensual sign, ultra potent when it comes to the physical and sensual responses to our emotions and feelings. When we become aware of our 'affections' (know what we love, be it food, art, relationships, pets, the environment, health and fitness, creative goals or intellectual abstractions) and demonstrate them in some way, the goddess of love smiles - meaning, we touch a core value, express it and feel more whole, more complete, in the process.

Taurus wants to brings things 'down to earth' so this is our chance to:

1) identify our desires
2) appreciate them
3) live them out

It doesn't have to be a huge production, this 'living them out.' Baby steps work fine. For example, if you're really into health and fitness, and want to work toward a renewed goal, doing one fresh thing in the name of your core value can start the snowball rolling. You might adjust your eating habits, or renew a commitment to the exercise that you love, appreciating your body as it is, in this red hot moment. If you have a core value around gardening and want to live in the midst of a botanical paradise, pot a fern, start a herb garden, plant one tree. If one of your core values is creativity but you 'don't have the time' you can honor Venus in Taurus by making Fridays (the day of Venus) your 'creation day'. Even if it's just for an hour, you commit to getting out the clay, sketch pad, guitar or word processor and let your artistry come alive.

Maybe relationship is the area of life that feels neglected. Venus is here to support your authentic goals in tangible ways, so if you want more from a partner (or more free time away from them, or maybe an actual partner to start with) get clear on what you want, relax and follow Venus's lead because the goddess of love knows just how to make your life more sumptuous when it comes to love, and of course, sex.  

Taurus is the #1 sign of love making. Keep that in mind :)

You might find that treating yourself the way you want 'them' to treat you is your most powerful tool. So have a candle bath, enjoy fine foods, settle in with a favorite film, novel or audio book. Treat yourself like gold! It's the fast track to improving all your relationships!

If you aren't sure how you want to leverage this energy to make your life more enriched, go to where Taurus is in your chart and track Venus's transits there. What area of life is activated? That's your playground. Go mix it up! (see a key word list for the houses below) If you need help, see 'creating your chart online' or ask for support in the comments!

From Swiss Ephemeris - The positions of Venus for the next 25 days
  Date          |    Venus    |
----------------------------
15 Apr 2013  | 29 ar 37   

The Venus by Michael Parkes

16 Apr 2013  |  0 ta 51   
17 Apr 2013  |  2 ta  5   
18 Apr 2013  |  3 ta 19   
19 Apr 2013  |  4 ta 33   
20 Apr 2013  |  5 ta 48   
21 Apr 2013  |  7 ta  2   
22 Apr 2013  |  8 ta 16   
23 Apr 2013  |  9 ta 30   
24 Apr 2013  | 10 ta 44   
25 Apr 2013  | 11 ta 58   
26 Apr 2013  | 13 ta 12   
27 Apr 2013  | 14 ta 26  
28 Apr 2013  | 15 ta 40   
29 Apr 2013  | 16 ta 54   
30 Apr 2013  | 18 ta  8   
01 May 2013  | 19 ta 22   
02 May 2013  | 20 ta 36   
03 May 2013  | 21 ta 50   
04 May 2013  | 23 ta  4  
05 May 2013  | 24 ta 18   
06 May 2013  | 25 ta 32   
07 May 2013  | 26 ta 46   
08 May 2013  | 27 ta 59   
09 May 2013  | 29 ta 13   
10 May 2013  |  0 ge 27   


Venus in Taurus is also our connection to Mother Earth. It's a time when we can take a moment an show reverence our for all life. There is so much to appreciate on this beautiful planet Earth. Pour forth some love, and respect, out into the world, and all living things.

Have a wonderful transit of Venus through Taurus,  Everyone!

* Reference for the houses*

The meanings of the houses are deep and rich with metaphorical and literal content but here is a quick list to get you started.

1st house – Appearance, personality traits, outlook on life
2nd house - $$$, resources, talents, peace of mind
3rd house – Teaching, learning, writing, talking, connecting
4th house – Home, family, ancestors, emotional ground
5th house – Creative expression, offspring (books/kids etc), romance
6th house – Health, pets, daily routine, employment, magic
7th house – Socially significant relationships, contracts
8th house – Sex, death, taxes, shared resources, trust
9th house – New horizons, travel, beliefs, WWW
10th house – Career, mission, profession, public relations
11th house – Friends, goals for the future, groups
12th house – Unconscious, dreams, giving and receiving, meditative states

Remember, if you need help, see 'creating your chart online' and go to where Taurus is in your chart, or just ask for help in the comments! Easy done!


Kim Falconer is a Supernatural Underground author writing paranormal romance, urban fantasy, YA and epic science fantasy novels. She also co-directs Good Vibe Astrology, an astrology and law of attraction school.

You can find out more about Kim at kimfalconer.com or on the 11th House Blog. She posts here at the Supernatural Underground on the 16th of every month. Her latest release is Supernatural Underground: Vampires Gone Wild.